Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Paul Shirley chat
Paul Shirley: Have at me. I've just consumed around 0.4 kilos worth of chicken fajitas, which is entirely inappropriate, considering that I'm in the Spanish-speaking country of, you know, Spain, and not the Spanish-speaking country of Mexico.
Paul Shirley: And I'll be honest, I'm expecting strong questions since it's been something like a year since my last chat.
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Tim (Bermuda): Loved the book. This is a very important question. Is there any valid reason for a white 20 something male to sport a moustache? I had one for about four days and the novelty wore off. First eveyone laughed (because it was meant to be a joke) and then they tried to convince me to keep it (because I looked so hilarious) and then it sort of got accepted (other than the occassional look of disgust and head shake) and finally people were just telling me that I looked like an a-hole. I got shamed into shaving it. And this was all in a four day span! I realize of course, that this is possibly the worst post for a chat ever but I saw that you were going to chat about moustaches and I had to put you to the test.
Paul Shirley: Let's talk mustaches.
I have one. It's both terrible and awesome at the same time. The fun here is that no one quite understands how funny it is. (Which could mean that it isn't that funny.) However, I do. I'm working on about 4 weeks worth of growth--it laps over my mouth on both sides by half an inch and when I smile, I look a little like Salvador Dali.
Paul Shirley: To answer your question: No, there is no reason that someone our age should own/possess/grow a mustache. Unless he's taken a vow of celibacy, which is basically the situation in which I find myself.
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Carter (Ohio: So, I just recently got NBA 2K8, and I just wanted to let you know that you are permanently on my roster. I decided after reading your book that if I found you in an NBA game, I would make sure you will be gainfully employed by an NBA team for the rest of your virtual days. So, done. Just letting you know.
Paul Shirley: Thank you. I got the best email yesterday: this kid was appalled that I am the lowest-rated player on 2K7 or 2K8 or BTK or whatever it's called. I was touched. I reassured him though, and convinced him that it's A) better to be on a video game period, than not on a video game at all, and B) WAY funnier to be the worst-rated than the second-worst-rated.
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Roni Chicago, IL: Hey Paul! How is the nightlife in Spain? I'm actually traveling to London over New Year's..
Paul Shirley: Uhh...you know that London isn't in Spain, right?
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Matt, Philly: Has your book release been considered a success by you? Your publisher? Any beautiful, European women in your life?
Paul Shirley: Yes/yes/only in the worst way.
Paul Shirley: (That kind of sounds like I've begun paying for sex.)
Paul Shirley: Book release has been a resounding success, except that I cringe anytime I see something I wrote inside. It's just...not that well-written in parts. So have patience with me, I'll get better.
Paul Shirley: I'm so good at self-promotion.
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John (White Plains, NY): I just watched the ViveMenorca video. That is one weak 'stache. You make Adam Morrison look like a lumberjack for cryin' out loud. I grew one in college as a joke during finals and kept it for about 9 months. Hispanic girls started to dig me and I was dubbed "Paco" for all time by my friends. All in all, a worthwhile endeavor.
Paul Shirley: In my defense, that video is from two weeks ago. It takes that long for my emails to get to the ESPN headquarters. Rest assured, it is ridiculous at this point.
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Ricardo Portland OR: Have you been following the NBA, and is there anyone that has you excited?
Paul Shirley: Honest answer: I am enjoying the Celtics current run because of my deep-seated Celtics fandom and because I greatly respect Kevin Garnett after the 3 weeks I spent in training camp with the TWolves last year. He really does deserve success.
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Matt Lawrence KS: what is you faavorite all time video game?
Paul Shirley: Tecmo Super Bowl, por supuesto.
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Matt (Hartford, CT): Hey Paul, did the sign that the fan made do any good in finding you a girlfriend?
Paul Shirley: No.
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David sacramento,ca: Have you ever been told you look like Matt Leinert with an afro?
Paul Shirley: I'm better-looking, actually. His eyes are oddly close-set. So, no.
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Danielle, Ames IA: Hola Paul, Fellow ISU alum here. What is the number 1 thing you miss about college and/or Ames?
Paul Shirley: Hickory Park. And borderline insane basketball coaches screaming at me while their faces are six centimeters from mine.
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Andrew (NY,NY): Hotter chicks: Greece, Spain, or Russia? Same question for Chicago, Atlanta, or Phoenix.
Paul Shirley: This is not even close. Russia and Phoenix.
Paul Shirley: Same type of girls, actually. Blond, good bodies, not very good at conventional English...
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Sean (Colorado Springs, CO): Been to any good concerts lately?
Paul Shirley: No, and I hate you if you have been. Bands don't seem to want to come to Mahon, Menorca, with its population of 12,000, 6% of which is under the age of 35.
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Jim(Illinois): I don't know too much about international leagues. What is the hierarchy in terms of pay and basketball talent?
Paul Shirley: It goes, Spain, then the NBA...Actually, here's an approximation. 1st division in Spain is the best in Europe, then maybe Greece or Russia, then Italy, then the 2nd division in Spain. After that, it gets a little hairy--Germany, France, Turkey and Israel.
Paul Shirley: Hairy, ha.
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citizen (world): Wait, Mahon has a population of 12,000 yet you get 5,000 at a basketball game?
Paul Shirley: The entire island has a population of around 55,000. (Reportedly.) Still, 9% attendance isn't too shabby.
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JR (Chicago, IL): So, what are the literary groupies like? How do they compare with basketball groupies?
Paul Shirley: Quite simply, they're way, way smarter.
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Chris (Chicago, IL): Paul, have you made even close to as much from your book as you did from playing basketball? Or is this a question you are too ashamed to answer?
Paul Shirley: No. But why would I be ashamed to answer? You realize that professional athletes are paid salaries that are in no way related to their contribution to the betterment of society as a whole, right?
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Leo (Bay Area, CA): YOu have never been to scandinavia I take it then? The females in Norway & Sweden are crushing all the cities mentioned above. I suggest a vacation there immediately for you. BTW, girls there love afros & mustaches! SO your good to go!
Paul Shirley: I'm sure they are. Unfortunately, their basketball leagues are terrible. I think this is intentional: they know they can attract players only because of their female talent. The $1000 a month salaries aren't getting it done.
Paul Shirley: Side note: It's always been my secret plan to finish my career in Sweden or Iceland. But now you've drawn it out of me. All my schemes, ruined.
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Dave: Can we expect a top ten albums of 2007 blog from you this year?
Paul Shirley: See...somewhere under "Paul Shirley's Top 10 Albums of 2007" on this here webpage.
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Derek (Chicago, IL): Overall a very respectable Top 10 of 2007, but what about Okkervil River? What about LCD Soundsystem? Oh, and thank you for not putting that album by MIA on there. Am I the only person who thinks she could single handedly destroy music?
Paul Shirley: I don't think she's destroying popular music, but I was disappointed by the second album. The collaboration with Timbaland: Woof.
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Leo (Bay Area, CA): Actually I was getting 2,500 a month in Harstad Norway. So they'd probably break the bank for you! But yes your are right about the crappy league (think average american adult league with 2 americans per team).
Paul Shirley: Now we're getting warm.
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Greg (Madison, WI): Paul you're an intelligent guy, at what point are you going to hang up the shoes? Why is it so important to you to hold on to the fringes of basketball. In reality your career ended years ago. You could have completed medical or law school in the interim. Why is it so important for you to validate your identity as a basketball player? You take the basketball away and you have no career as a writer (ESPN, television, book whatever). When are you going to invest in you? What is your plan for "after basketball," it seems you've been avoiding that for like seven years?
Paul Shirley: You're absolutely right. Getting paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to play basketball has been one half-decade-long mistake. I quit.
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Dimitris (Halkida, Greece): If you had to choose one of the players that you faced in Greece who do you think will have a good carrier in the nba?
Paul Shirley: Diamantidis.
Paul Shirley: (72% sure I spelled that right.)
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Jamal (Madison,WI): When are you going to be on dancing with the stars after watching you on the video after that dude hit that three. You were looking a little excited.
Paul Shirley: For all my snark and self-deprecation, I remain able to love the occasional game of basketball.
Paul Shirley: It's the other 166 hours per week that get me.
Paul Shirley: That math was done on the fly, so forgive me if it's incorrect.
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Carl (Lansing, MI): What are your thoughts on the writers strike? It seems like you are someone that could see both sides of it.
Paul Shirley: After reading The Jungle, I generally side with strikers. (Except in France, when they're public transport workers yelling about mindless jobs that pay them too much.) I have friends who are writers, and I like them and, therefore, blindly assume that they are in the right. Other than that, I really don't know enough to comment...
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Royce (LA): Do you feel honored or insulted that ESPN gives you the longest intro paragraph on any of their chats? Gilding the lily, or necessary marketing?
Paul Shirley: Do they really? I think it's a necessary evil; it keeps people from saying, "Dude, who are you, and why do I care?"
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Melody Minneapolis, MN: Paul, are you following US politics at all? Which candidates do you like?
Paul Shirley: Guaranteed to turn off a few readers, just by posting that question....Ever since his Daily Show appearance, I've enjoyed a dab of Ron Paul now and then. I'm sure I'll end up voting for the Democratic candidate since Romney's a cyborg, Giuliani hates everyone and Huckabee might try to turn us into a slightly-more-tolerant version of Pakistan.
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Tony (Des Moines): Paul, I just found my pictures of the ISU team's not-so-triumphant return to the Des Moines Airport after the loss to Michigan State in the Elite Eight. What happened to your baby-face?
Paul Shirley: Paul, I'd like to introduce you to, first, rejection and after, alcohol.
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Austin (San Francisco): Moustaches are to women as ambrosia was to the Greek gods. During college 12 roomoates and I sported one for Moustache Month--"if you ain't sportin' the stache , don't join the bash." Anyways, have you thought of hitting on the bassist from Stellastarr* with your new cranial accessory?
Paul Shirley: I enjoyed that one, with or without question....I think she's dating the lead singer of Thursday. God knows I can't compete with that.
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Carl (Lansing, MI): do you ever read the comments on your Blogs? One person told you to cheer up and the sun will come up tomorrow. Just thought you should know.
Paul Shirley: I do. I enjoy when people take the time to read the entire thing and then tell the world how bad it was. Those folks are fun.
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Sean - Chicago IL: Word is Caron Butler used to chug a 2L of Mountain Dew before every game and at halftime, whats the pregame beverage of choice for Paul Shirley?
Paul Shirley: Is opium a beverage?
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Widmark (EC, WI): Have you heard about the russian tennis star getting held up at home and getting 100 grand stolen from her? How much cash do you keep on hand? Do you go out and make it rain?
Paul Shirley: Usually about 40 euros, which is equivalent to approximately $8,000.
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Josh (Bklyn, NY): You like the Celtics? Do you ever watch Brian Scalabrine and think there is absolutely nothing this guy brings to the table that I don't, plus I have shoulders?
Paul Shirley: Not once, and I can't believe you'd say such a thing.
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George (Portland, OR): Can I make a website for you? Seriously. I'm freelancing and hate all my other clients. In fact, I'm about as surly as you - it's probably a great match.
Paul Shirley: Yes you can. Send me a myspace message.
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Matt, Philly: Where was the promotion for this chat?! I get the sense that I have to keep post questions, as I happily stumbled upon it, while others will not know this is going on.
Paul Shirley: No comment.
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Justin (Salem, OR): I'm an engineering student, and I know you once were. Are any of the very very very few engineering girls worth pursuing? Or should I try to meet girls elsewhere, and impress them with my knowledge of vector calculus?
Paul Shirley: You should pursue them elsewhere, but if you find an attractive one who knows how to diagram a four-bar linkage, she could be a keeper.
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213 7th (EC, WI): How long are you chatting for? What are you doing for xmas? New Years?
Paul Shirley: Was that a home address? Does that mean I'm invited over?
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Carl (Lansing, MI): I always felt bad for the one hot girl in our engineering classes. I always made a point to not hit on her becuase so many guys thought they could and I didn't want to be "that" guy.
Paul Shirley: We had one of those. I didn't have the self-control that you have. Our relationship lasted one date. Good job, me.
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Anthony (L.A.): Do you consult a financial advisor or should we be on the look out for you to be hocking frozen meats with Icky Woods in 5 years? I worry about you.
Paul Shirley: You should. I can't stop buying jewelry/coke/Ferraris.
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The Hot Girl (Engineering Class): You missed out Carl....
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Jamal (Madison, WI): How is going out with your teammates after a game? You all get a big tab? Pay individually? How does the dynamic work in foreign lands with foreign teammates?
Paul Shirley: I'll say this about Europeans: They're a generous group. After a recent win, one of my Serbian teammates paid for the dinners of 20 people--players, wives, kids.
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Pat (Neenah, WI): I'm at a terrible computer at work, so I cannot watch the video of your celebrastache. Being a moustache veteran of the Fu Manchu lip lazer while wearing 'Moustache rides: 1 for 3, 2 for 5' scribbled in sharpie on a horrendously pit-stained white t shirt and the 70's fuzzy catepillar two-a-day, grown solely to be an eye sore on a team picture - how would you describe your moustache? A musty moust? Cuddly? Burt Reynolds in nature? Pray tell and invest in yourself using introspection for a higher purpose than contemplating why you haven't gone to medical or law school. Doctors and lawyers don't wear moustaches. Cowboys do. Yipee-kai-yea.
Paul Shirley: I have no response. I'm sorry.
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Sam (San Antonio): Paul, it just struck me, either you are an ultra rare renaissance man, or you are just a generic jack of all trades, and master of none. Which is it in your opinion?
Paul Shirley: The optimistic side, the one that comes out after 9 pm, wants to believe it's the former. The version of me that curses the world if he has to get up before ten is sure it's the latter.
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john jones: i was on the minnesota state basketball team last year (where you did your training camp with the wolves) and I didn't think you we're as bad as everyone says you are (by nba standards of course) are you actively trying to get back to the league and play back home in the states or are you content to finish out your career in europe?
Paul Shirley: I'll take Back-Handed Compliments for 12 euro....Here's the thing, and I realize this is confusing. I can't leave my team in Spain in the middle of the year. I mean, I suppose I could, but they wouldn't allow me to take my registration papers if I just flew home one day. They need to win games too, so they wouldn't be thrilled about me leaving. Thus, I can't just go try to play in the NBA sometime in January. Although it sounds nice, from time to time.
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matt (omaha): Many years ago, while you were playing for the Bulls, you signed an autograph for me on my hat. Remember me? How ya been?
Paul Shirley: I should remember you since that was most likely the only autograph I signed while playing for Chicago. Alas, I do not. I do apologize.
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Alex, Spain: Hi Paul, what do you think of Ricky Rubio?
Paul Shirley: He's deceptively good. I hadn't seen him play til this year. I was amazed. He looks like a skateboarder; plays like Steve Nash. And he's 17.*
Paul Shirley: *I think.
Paul Shirley: *I think.
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Rich, DC: Why isn't minor leage basketball more popular in this country? I see CBA and D -league attendance numbers and its pretty low. It seems that minor league teams are always folding (and that does not even include the dysfunctional ABA, where a team drops out every week).
Paul Shirley: (Whispering, hand aside the mouth): Psst. College basketball.
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Mike, Phoenix: I tried to post this comment on your Top 10 Albums page, but keep getting errored out so: Not a bad list Paul - I'm going to agree with The National selection as the year's finest album - but no love for Spoon? Also you are going to lose a lot of cred from the typical ESPN reader with your rightful inclusion of Strawberry Jam...everyone I recommend that one to ignores my next five choices. So typical ESPN reader, please don't write off Mr. Shirley's entire list two minutes into "Peacebone". Thanks.
Paul Shirley: I second that. When it comes to music, listen to me--I have spare time.
Paul Shirley: Oh, sorry, Spoon...good, not great.
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Tibs (Minneapolis, MN): What is the weirdest pre-game or halftime quirk you have seen in your times in the NBA and in Europe?
Paul Shirley: I walked out of a locker room in Greece at halftime and found the entire dance team in the hallway, smoking cigarettes.
Paul Shirley: (Feels like that should be the start of a story that ends with "and then I put my shorts back on and reported for the fourth quarter." Sadly, it's just that they were smoking at halftime.)
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Jason (Baltimore): Paul, help me. I am 24 years old, and the other night I met an attractive older woman at a bar. I thought she was in her late 30's/early 40's, and after and hour or two, she made it abundantly clear that she was interested in me (for reasons that are not lost on me). We went back to her place, the rest of the evening really needs no explanation. When I woke up the next morning, I couldn't remember her name. As she was taking a shower, I went into her purse, pulled out her license, and saw her name....I also saw that she was 51 YEARS OLD (as she is older than my Mom by two months). I have no idea how to feel about this situation.
Paul Shirley: There's only a 40% chance that that is a true story. But if it is, embrace it. If I've learned only one thing, it is that misery and awkward make for great stories.
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CDL, Coeur d'Alene, Idaho: I was part of a group of criminal defense lawyers who had a 'stache growing contest for a month. Basically it was a result of a drunken night when we were making fun of our local police officers. Bonus points were awarded to those who had jury trials, appeared in the paper, etc. All I can say is part of my job is defending criminals for a living - and growing a mustache was one of the worst things I ever had to do. Since I can't think of anything else - any plans for another book?
Paul Shirley: Yes, but it will be fiction, and you might not like it.
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Brooklyn, New York: What do you think about your alma mater's soon to be enacted change in logo? I was always sort of partial to the "bird in a blender" myself.
Paul Shirley: I had no idea. I hope they bring back the post-modern tornado.
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Phil, Milw: When does a stache become a molestache?
Paul Shirley: About 12 hours in.
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Victoria Boston, MA: As far as misery and awkward making for great stories - I only found your herpes scare story marginal.
Paul Shirley: Next time, I promise to contract the disease. Or write better.
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Matt, Chicago: Paul, I've spent 9 hours of my day thus far checking espn.com and checking on the status of various student loans that I'll be paying until I retire. I'm at work. If you ever begin to listen to one of these people who seem to suggest you should hang it up, think of me. Think of me Paul, think of me.
Paul Shirley: Noted. Sorry man.
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Ryan (madison, wi): You post a lot of wisconsin people's questions. Do you have an affiliation with our state? I have an impossible exam at 745 am tomorrow that I haven't started studying for, and I'm here chatting with you. I apologize for the other madison d-bag who encouraged you to stop living the dream. Want to come get wasted after my exam tomorrow? 10 a.m. our time has to be like, dinner time for you, right?
Paul Shirley: No affiliation other than an affection for people from Wisconsin. They're always friendly. Kind of like Canadians, only better drinkers. And yes, I'll be there.
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Shanners (Wausau, WI): The best way to follow your career overseas is.....
Paul Shirley: either acb.com or menorcabasquet.com
Paul Shirley: The first is in Spanish, obviously, and the second is probably in Menorquin, not so obviously.
Paul Shirley: Yes, they have their own language on this island.
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Karen (Oregon, WI): Hey, I'm from Wisconsin! You would love the way I drink.
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Colin (Chicago): Paul, are you excited for the new version on "American Gladiators" host by Hulk Hogan that's coming out soon?
Paul Shirley: I've only heard rumblings. (Remember, I'm in Spain.) But now I'm excited.
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Ryan (Lizzle,IL): so are you fluent in spanish by now? if so what is your favorite spanish phrase?
Paul Shirley: Can't post that, obviously. As for my Spanish, it's not nearly as good as it should be. I can't seem to muster the willpower to make a decent effort. The problem is this: I don't even have English mastered; I can't imagine how I could get Spanish figured out anytime soon. At least, not well enough for heavy deployment of sarcasm, anyway.
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chad (lawrence, KS): how do you think the jeff west tigers team will be this year?
Paul Shirley: If they'd get my brother the ball more, they'd be better.
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Luke (St. Paul, MN): ACBtv is great, thanks for alerting stateside basketball fans. It's much more entertaining than most of the internet highlight stuff NBA.com does (although that may have a lot to do with the fact that so many of the ACB clips are clutch jump shots, followed by wild celebrations, rather than an endless stream of dunks made possible by breakdowns in the opposing team's defense...)
Paul Shirley: You are welcome and you are right. These fast-collapsing defenses really cut down on the thunder dunks.
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Haden (memphis): What do you think about Juan Carlos Navarro's success in the NBA? Who else in the Spanish 1st Division could have similar success?
Paul Shirley: Honestly, I was surprised. But that's only because I'm not cut out to be an NBA prognosticator. Tiago Splitter comes to mind as an instant success in the NBA.
Paul Shirley: Which, of course, means that his NBA career is now cursed.
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Lisa: Do you ever feel like you are a little too honest? I mean, you are making the whole hero worship thing that I like to have with professional athletes kind of tough. Just a thought.
Paul Shirley: You make a good point. Additionally, should I ever have kids, records of everything I've ever written will make for some tough conversations.
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Greg (Boston): His name is Tiago Splitter? How could he not succeed in the states?
Paul Shirley: I know, right? Why can't my name be Tiago Splitter?
Paul Shirley: Sorry, took a break to send, via skype, some of my favorite questions elsewhere.
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Davs (Washington, DC): hey Paul, I think you more closely resemble Tom Everett Scott (from "That Thing You Do!" and "Dead Man On Campus") than Matt Leinart... p.s. as always, thanks for supplying us with countless hours of humorous/insightful writing and entertainment...
Paul Shirley: Also from the now-defunct (I think) Saved on TNT. The top choices are: Matt Leinart (when I'm in LA), John Mayer (when my hair is long), TES, and Timothy Hutton (when I look old and like I was in a movie with a 12-year old Natalie Portman).
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val (anaheim): Paul, its been too long. Is it gonna be another 1 year + before your next chat?
Paul Shirley: I'll do my best to avoid it.
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Tyler(Ames, IA): Do you still keep in touch with former ISU teammates like Fizer,Tinsley,Horton,Rancik,etc...?
Paul Shirley: Oddly enough, Martin, his wife, and his son accompanied me around the Guggenheim in Bilbao. He plays for the team there.
Paul Shirley: Oh no, the girl on the other end of the Skype line is going to be in Las Vegas for the New Year. And I'm almost sure she'll be there with her German boyfriend. I think I need an outpouring of support to convince her otherwise...
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citizen (world): So, Bilbao is a "must see." Any other surprisingly interesting Spanish cities?
Paul Shirley: Cordoba, Valencia.
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JB Meccamon (Madison, WI): Complete this sentence: When I see _____ playing in the NBA, I want to ____ a _____ with a _______.
Paul Shirley: I can't answer that here, but I did laugh a lot.
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Derek (Chicago, IL): I grew up in a tiny town in Southwest Iowa, and we'd have open gym during the winter at the elementary school every Sunday, which consisted of high school kids, 40 year old men, and recent graduates who never made it out of town playing pick up games on a 60 by 25 court. Now this was fine, but occasionally during the end of my high school career (say '98-'99) former Cyclone Julius Michalik would show up and play. Why would Julius want to play with a bunch of 5'7" slow, fat, townies? And why did he need to warm up for 45 minutes?
Paul Shirley: Because when he was 21 he was working with the body of a 54-year-old. Great guy though.
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Wheels (Mpls, MN): I am seeing a girl from work who lives with her boyfriend who also works with us. How is this going to end?
Paul Shirley: My hunch is: badly for everyone. But the stories will be great.
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matt (omaha): I think you look like the kid from "Superbad". Is that insulting?
Paul Shirley: Absolutely. But I'll live.
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Justin (Fairbanks (AK)): Dude that was a sweet rejection you had on that stiff from Grenada. How come you're getting everyone to focus on the stache when you have a killer highlight like that?
Paul Shirley: Because nobody (including me) likes a braggart.
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BJ (Missoula,MT): Doesn't that girl know that all German guys are Duetsche bags (I can say this because a german foreign exchange student stole my girlfriend 7 years ago)
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Jake (PA): Is basketball more popular than soccer on your island?
Paul Shirley: Only because there isn't a soccer team here.
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Ryan (Lizzle,IL): who is the best american born player currently playing in the ACB
Paul Shirley: Chris Moss.
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Eric (Kansas City): Correct me if I'm mistaken, but I think I played against you in a fall/winter league in Kansas City a few years ago. Was that you???
Paul Shirley: It's quite possible. It's been a winding road, this career of mine.
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Stewart Griffin (Quahog, RI): I really like the new PARAMORE album. Is it gay for a big manly man to like a band with a chick lead singer?
Paul Shirley: It's okay, I like the New Pornographers. And Tegan and Sara. But that could just be because they're lesbian sisters from Canada.
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chris (sf): dude, it's not cool if you are skypeing (is that a word?) my german friends spanish girlfriend. But if it's someone else, good luck
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Bob (Seattle): For a guy with a bad ankle, you sure moved quickly chasing mustache boy around after the game winning shot. BTW, what did you whisper in his ear beforete the freethrow? Was it what Bill Murray whispered in Scarlett Johansson's ear? Mmmmm... Scarlett Johansson
Paul Shirley: That's all adrenaline and Celebrex. And Juicy Fruit.
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Captain Honesty: Who's the ugliest player you've ever played with or against? Peter John Ramos? Salva Guardia? Or someone that wasn't at the game Sunday. Be honest.
Paul Shirley: Is Ha-Seung Jin eligible?
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Brent (Portland, OR): Having drafting the rights to Rudy Fernandez, and him being from Spain...what is there you can tell us Blazer fans about him?
Paul Shirley: (Watch out everyone, it seems we have a Blazers GM in the chat.) He's...really good. And a good dude, as well.
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SonnyD (Vancouver, CA): Mr.Shirely first thank you for the compliment about Canadians being nice. We are. But not being able to handle the booze, I'll challenge anyone from WI. We have real beer up here, 5% not 3%. I haven't read your book yet but I will go buy it if you can inspire me in three words or less.
Paul Shirley: Not a hobbit.
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Jack, Detroit: Yeah, you're making hundreds of thousands of dollars, but do you realize you'd have to play like 40-50 more years (they have AARP leagues in eurore, right?) to make what Brian Scalabrine is going to in the next five? sorry, just thought you'd like to know.
Paul Shirley: Yeah, well, I have better hair.
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Ryan (Lizzle,IL): does the island of menorca have any topless beaches for you to hang out at?
Paul Shirley: Not in December.
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Deets (Eau Claire, WI): Where does Bad Religion rank among your favorite bands of all-time?
Paul Shirley: Is number 1,287 an acceptable answer?
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Austin (San Francisco): Who's the more compelling writer, to your mind, Simmons, Gladwell or Klosterman? (Or maybe Seuss?)
Paul Shirley: Klosterman. Then again, what am I going to say? The man took time away to write the foreword for my book after I sent him an email that said, "Would you write the foreword for my book?" He'll always be my favorite, if only because of that.
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Steve (Chicago): Were the lacerated kidney and ruptured spleen the highlight of your stint with the Bulls?
Paul Shirley: No, but the Dilaudid that followed was.
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Joe (Chicago): Lots of stories about the Suns slipping this year due to chemistry issues -- I'm guessing its not G.Hill's fault. Care to speculate?
Paul Shirley: I'm pretty sure they're lacking something, and that something has the following initials: PMS.
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Alberto Seattle,WA: would you have an orangatang as a pet?
Paul Shirley: Does the pope poop in the woods?
Paul Shirley: It's nearing midnight in Menorca, and I need to stop staring at a computer screen. As always, thanks for passing through and sending a question. Or thanks for idly sitting by and not sending a question. Feel free to comment on the Albums of 2007 list with choices of your own. I'll be watching. And as always, I can be found at myspace.com/paulshirley. Thanks.
Paul Shirley: And I'll be honest, I'm expecting strong questions since it's been something like a year since my last chat.
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Tim (Bermuda): Loved the book. This is a very important question. Is there any valid reason for a white 20 something male to sport a moustache? I had one for about four days and the novelty wore off. First eveyone laughed (because it was meant to be a joke) and then they tried to convince me to keep it (because I looked so hilarious) and then it sort of got accepted (other than the occassional look of disgust and head shake) and finally people were just telling me that I looked like an a-hole. I got shamed into shaving it. And this was all in a four day span! I realize of course, that this is possibly the worst post for a chat ever but I saw that you were going to chat about moustaches and I had to put you to the test.
Paul Shirley: Let's talk mustaches.
I have one. It's both terrible and awesome at the same time. The fun here is that no one quite understands how funny it is. (Which could mean that it isn't that funny.) However, I do. I'm working on about 4 weeks worth of growth--it laps over my mouth on both sides by half an inch and when I smile, I look a little like Salvador Dali.
Paul Shirley: To answer your question: No, there is no reason that someone our age should own/possess/grow a mustache. Unless he's taken a vow of celibacy, which is basically the situation in which I find myself.
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Carter (Ohio: So, I just recently got NBA 2K8, and I just wanted to let you know that you are permanently on my roster. I decided after reading your book that if I found you in an NBA game, I would make sure you will be gainfully employed by an NBA team for the rest of your virtual days. So, done. Just letting you know.
Paul Shirley: Thank you. I got the best email yesterday: this kid was appalled that I am the lowest-rated player on 2K7 or 2K8 or BTK or whatever it's called. I was touched. I reassured him though, and convinced him that it's A) better to be on a video game period, than not on a video game at all, and B) WAY funnier to be the worst-rated than the second-worst-rated.
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Roni Chicago, IL: Hey Paul! How is the nightlife in Spain? I'm actually traveling to London over New Year's..
Paul Shirley: Uhh...you know that London isn't in Spain, right?
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Matt, Philly: Has your book release been considered a success by you? Your publisher? Any beautiful, European women in your life?
Paul Shirley: Yes/yes/only in the worst way.
Paul Shirley: (That kind of sounds like I've begun paying for sex.)
Paul Shirley: Book release has been a resounding success, except that I cringe anytime I see something I wrote inside. It's just...not that well-written in parts. So have patience with me, I'll get better.
Paul Shirley: I'm so good at self-promotion.
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John (White Plains, NY): I just watched the ViveMenorca video. That is one weak 'stache. You make Adam Morrison look like a lumberjack for cryin' out loud. I grew one in college as a joke during finals and kept it for about 9 months. Hispanic girls started to dig me and I was dubbed "Paco" for all time by my friends. All in all, a worthwhile endeavor.
Paul Shirley: In my defense, that video is from two weeks ago. It takes that long for my emails to get to the ESPN headquarters. Rest assured, it is ridiculous at this point.
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Ricardo Portland OR: Have you been following the NBA, and is there anyone that has you excited?
Paul Shirley: Honest answer: I am enjoying the Celtics current run because of my deep-seated Celtics fandom and because I greatly respect Kevin Garnett after the 3 weeks I spent in training camp with the TWolves last year. He really does deserve success.
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Matt Lawrence KS: what is you faavorite all time video game?
Paul Shirley: Tecmo Super Bowl, por supuesto.
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Matt (Hartford, CT): Hey Paul, did the sign that the fan made do any good in finding you a girlfriend?
Paul Shirley: No.
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David sacramento,ca: Have you ever been told you look like Matt Leinert with an afro?
Paul Shirley: I'm better-looking, actually. His eyes are oddly close-set. So, no.
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Danielle, Ames IA: Hola Paul, Fellow ISU alum here. What is the number 1 thing you miss about college and/or Ames?
Paul Shirley: Hickory Park. And borderline insane basketball coaches screaming at me while their faces are six centimeters from mine.
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Andrew (NY,NY): Hotter chicks: Greece, Spain, or Russia? Same question for Chicago, Atlanta, or Phoenix.
Paul Shirley: This is not even close. Russia and Phoenix.
Paul Shirley: Same type of girls, actually. Blond, good bodies, not very good at conventional English...
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Sean (Colorado Springs, CO): Been to any good concerts lately?
Paul Shirley: No, and I hate you if you have been. Bands don't seem to want to come to Mahon, Menorca, with its population of 12,000, 6% of which is under the age of 35.
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Jim(Illinois): I don't know too much about international leagues. What is the hierarchy in terms of pay and basketball talent?
Paul Shirley: It goes, Spain, then the NBA...Actually, here's an approximation. 1st division in Spain is the best in Europe, then maybe Greece or Russia, then Italy, then the 2nd division in Spain. After that, it gets a little hairy--Germany, France, Turkey and Israel.
Paul Shirley: Hairy, ha.
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citizen (world): Wait, Mahon has a population of 12,000 yet you get 5,000 at a basketball game?
Paul Shirley: The entire island has a population of around 55,000. (Reportedly.) Still, 9% attendance isn't too shabby.
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JR (Chicago, IL): So, what are the literary groupies like? How do they compare with basketball groupies?
Paul Shirley: Quite simply, they're way, way smarter.
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Chris (Chicago, IL): Paul, have you made even close to as much from your book as you did from playing basketball? Or is this a question you are too ashamed to answer?
Paul Shirley: No. But why would I be ashamed to answer? You realize that professional athletes are paid salaries that are in no way related to their contribution to the betterment of society as a whole, right?
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Leo (Bay Area, CA): YOu have never been to scandinavia I take it then? The females in Norway & Sweden are crushing all the cities mentioned above. I suggest a vacation there immediately for you. BTW, girls there love afros & mustaches! SO your good to go!
Paul Shirley: I'm sure they are. Unfortunately, their basketball leagues are terrible. I think this is intentional: they know they can attract players only because of their female talent. The $1000 a month salaries aren't getting it done.
Paul Shirley: Side note: It's always been my secret plan to finish my career in Sweden or Iceland. But now you've drawn it out of me. All my schemes, ruined.
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Dave: Can we expect a top ten albums of 2007 blog from you this year?
Paul Shirley: See...somewhere under "Paul Shirley's Top 10 Albums of 2007" on this here webpage.
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Derek (Chicago, IL): Overall a very respectable Top 10 of 2007, but what about Okkervil River? What about LCD Soundsystem? Oh, and thank you for not putting that album by MIA on there. Am I the only person who thinks she could single handedly destroy music?
Paul Shirley: I don't think she's destroying popular music, but I was disappointed by the second album. The collaboration with Timbaland: Woof.
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Leo (Bay Area, CA): Actually I was getting 2,500 a month in Harstad Norway. So they'd probably break the bank for you! But yes your are right about the crappy league (think average american adult league with 2 americans per team).
Paul Shirley: Now we're getting warm.
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Greg (Madison, WI): Paul you're an intelligent guy, at what point are you going to hang up the shoes? Why is it so important to you to hold on to the fringes of basketball. In reality your career ended years ago. You could have completed medical or law school in the interim. Why is it so important for you to validate your identity as a basketball player? You take the basketball away and you have no career as a writer (ESPN, television, book whatever). When are you going to invest in you? What is your plan for "after basketball," it seems you've been avoiding that for like seven years?
Paul Shirley: You're absolutely right. Getting paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to play basketball has been one half-decade-long mistake. I quit.
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Dimitris (Halkida, Greece): If you had to choose one of the players that you faced in Greece who do you think will have a good carrier in the nba?
Paul Shirley: Diamantidis.
Paul Shirley: (72% sure I spelled that right.)
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Jamal (Madison,WI): When are you going to be on dancing with the stars after watching you on the video after that dude hit that three. You were looking a little excited.
Paul Shirley: For all my snark and self-deprecation, I remain able to love the occasional game of basketball.
Paul Shirley: It's the other 166 hours per week that get me.
Paul Shirley: That math was done on the fly, so forgive me if it's incorrect.
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Carl (Lansing, MI): What are your thoughts on the writers strike? It seems like you are someone that could see both sides of it.
Paul Shirley: After reading The Jungle, I generally side with strikers. (Except in France, when they're public transport workers yelling about mindless jobs that pay them too much.) I have friends who are writers, and I like them and, therefore, blindly assume that they are in the right. Other than that, I really don't know enough to comment...
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Royce (LA): Do you feel honored or insulted that ESPN gives you the longest intro paragraph on any of their chats? Gilding the lily, or necessary marketing?
Paul Shirley: Do they really? I think it's a necessary evil; it keeps people from saying, "Dude, who are you, and why do I care?"
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Melody Minneapolis, MN: Paul, are you following US politics at all? Which candidates do you like?
Paul Shirley: Guaranteed to turn off a few readers, just by posting that question....Ever since his Daily Show appearance, I've enjoyed a dab of Ron Paul now and then. I'm sure I'll end up voting for the Democratic candidate since Romney's a cyborg, Giuliani hates everyone and Huckabee might try to turn us into a slightly-more-tolerant version of Pakistan.
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Tony (Des Moines): Paul, I just found my pictures of the ISU team's not-so-triumphant return to the Des Moines Airport after the loss to Michigan State in the Elite Eight. What happened to your baby-face?
Paul Shirley: Paul, I'd like to introduce you to, first, rejection and after, alcohol.
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Austin (San Francisco): Moustaches are to women as ambrosia was to the Greek gods. During college 12 roomoates and I sported one for Moustache Month--"if you ain't sportin' the stache , don't join the bash." Anyways, have you thought of hitting on the bassist from Stellastarr* with your new cranial accessory?
Paul Shirley: I enjoyed that one, with or without question....I think she's dating the lead singer of Thursday. God knows I can't compete with that.
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Carl (Lansing, MI): do you ever read the comments on your Blogs? One person told you to cheer up and the sun will come up tomorrow. Just thought you should know.
Paul Shirley: I do. I enjoy when people take the time to read the entire thing and then tell the world how bad it was. Those folks are fun.
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Sean - Chicago IL: Word is Caron Butler used to chug a 2L of Mountain Dew before every game and at halftime, whats the pregame beverage of choice for Paul Shirley?
Paul Shirley: Is opium a beverage?
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Widmark (EC, WI): Have you heard about the russian tennis star getting held up at home and getting 100 grand stolen from her? How much cash do you keep on hand? Do you go out and make it rain?
Paul Shirley: Usually about 40 euros, which is equivalent to approximately $8,000.
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Josh (Bklyn, NY): You like the Celtics? Do you ever watch Brian Scalabrine and think there is absolutely nothing this guy brings to the table that I don't, plus I have shoulders?
Paul Shirley: Not once, and I can't believe you'd say such a thing.
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George (Portland, OR): Can I make a website for you? Seriously. I'm freelancing and hate all my other clients. In fact, I'm about as surly as you - it's probably a great match.
Paul Shirley: Yes you can. Send me a myspace message.
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Matt, Philly: Where was the promotion for this chat?! I get the sense that I have to keep post questions, as I happily stumbled upon it, while others will not know this is going on.
Paul Shirley: No comment.
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Justin (Salem, OR): I'm an engineering student, and I know you once were. Are any of the very very very few engineering girls worth pursuing? Or should I try to meet girls elsewhere, and impress them with my knowledge of vector calculus?
Paul Shirley: You should pursue them elsewhere, but if you find an attractive one who knows how to diagram a four-bar linkage, she could be a keeper.
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213 7th (EC, WI): How long are you chatting for? What are you doing for xmas? New Years?
Paul Shirley: Was that a home address? Does that mean I'm invited over?
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Carl (Lansing, MI): I always felt bad for the one hot girl in our engineering classes. I always made a point to not hit on her becuase so many guys thought they could and I didn't want to be "that" guy.
Paul Shirley: We had one of those. I didn't have the self-control that you have. Our relationship lasted one date. Good job, me.
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Anthony (L.A.): Do you consult a financial advisor or should we be on the look out for you to be hocking frozen meats with Icky Woods in 5 years? I worry about you.
Paul Shirley: You should. I can't stop buying jewelry/coke/Ferraris.
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The Hot Girl (Engineering Class): You missed out Carl....
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Jamal (Madison, WI): How is going out with your teammates after a game? You all get a big tab? Pay individually? How does the dynamic work in foreign lands with foreign teammates?
Paul Shirley: I'll say this about Europeans: They're a generous group. After a recent win, one of my Serbian teammates paid for the dinners of 20 people--players, wives, kids.
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Pat (Neenah, WI): I'm at a terrible computer at work, so I cannot watch the video of your celebrastache. Being a moustache veteran of the Fu Manchu lip lazer while wearing 'Moustache rides: 1 for 3, 2 for 5' scribbled in sharpie on a horrendously pit-stained white t shirt and the 70's fuzzy catepillar two-a-day, grown solely to be an eye sore on a team picture - how would you describe your moustache? A musty moust? Cuddly? Burt Reynolds in nature? Pray tell and invest in yourself using introspection for a higher purpose than contemplating why you haven't gone to medical or law school. Doctors and lawyers don't wear moustaches. Cowboys do. Yipee-kai-yea.
Paul Shirley: I have no response. I'm sorry.
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Sam (San Antonio): Paul, it just struck me, either you are an ultra rare renaissance man, or you are just a generic jack of all trades, and master of none. Which is it in your opinion?
Paul Shirley: The optimistic side, the one that comes out after 9 pm, wants to believe it's the former. The version of me that curses the world if he has to get up before ten is sure it's the latter.
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john jones: i was on the minnesota state basketball team last year (where you did your training camp with the wolves) and I didn't think you we're as bad as everyone says you are (by nba standards of course) are you actively trying to get back to the league and play back home in the states or are you content to finish out your career in europe?
Paul Shirley: I'll take Back-Handed Compliments for 12 euro....Here's the thing, and I realize this is confusing. I can't leave my team in Spain in the middle of the year. I mean, I suppose I could, but they wouldn't allow me to take my registration papers if I just flew home one day. They need to win games too, so they wouldn't be thrilled about me leaving. Thus, I can't just go try to play in the NBA sometime in January. Although it sounds nice, from time to time.
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matt (omaha): Many years ago, while you were playing for the Bulls, you signed an autograph for me on my hat. Remember me? How ya been?
Paul Shirley: I should remember you since that was most likely the only autograph I signed while playing for Chicago. Alas, I do not. I do apologize.
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Alex, Spain: Hi Paul, what do you think of Ricky Rubio?
Paul Shirley: He's deceptively good. I hadn't seen him play til this year. I was amazed. He looks like a skateboarder; plays like Steve Nash. And he's 17.*
Paul Shirley: *I think.
Paul Shirley: *I think.
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Rich, DC: Why isn't minor leage basketball more popular in this country? I see CBA and D -league attendance numbers and its pretty low. It seems that minor league teams are always folding (and that does not even include the dysfunctional ABA, where a team drops out every week).
Paul Shirley: (Whispering, hand aside the mouth): Psst. College basketball.
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Mike, Phoenix: I tried to post this comment on your Top 10 Albums page, but keep getting errored out so: Not a bad list Paul - I'm going to agree with The National selection as the year's finest album - but no love for Spoon? Also you are going to lose a lot of cred from the typical ESPN reader with your rightful inclusion of Strawberry Jam...everyone I recommend that one to ignores my next five choices. So typical ESPN reader, please don't write off Mr. Shirley's entire list two minutes into "Peacebone". Thanks.
Paul Shirley: I second that. When it comes to music, listen to me--I have spare time.
Paul Shirley: Oh, sorry, Spoon...good, not great.
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Tibs (Minneapolis, MN): What is the weirdest pre-game or halftime quirk you have seen in your times in the NBA and in Europe?
Paul Shirley: I walked out of a locker room in Greece at halftime and found the entire dance team in the hallway, smoking cigarettes.
Paul Shirley: (Feels like that should be the start of a story that ends with "and then I put my shorts back on and reported for the fourth quarter." Sadly, it's just that they were smoking at halftime.)
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Jason (Baltimore): Paul, help me. I am 24 years old, and the other night I met an attractive older woman at a bar. I thought she was in her late 30's/early 40's, and after and hour or two, she made it abundantly clear that she was interested in me (for reasons that are not lost on me). We went back to her place, the rest of the evening really needs no explanation. When I woke up the next morning, I couldn't remember her name. As she was taking a shower, I went into her purse, pulled out her license, and saw her name....I also saw that she was 51 YEARS OLD (as she is older than my Mom by two months). I have no idea how to feel about this situation.
Paul Shirley: There's only a 40% chance that that is a true story. But if it is, embrace it. If I've learned only one thing, it is that misery and awkward make for great stories.
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CDL, Coeur d'Alene, Idaho: I was part of a group of criminal defense lawyers who had a 'stache growing contest for a month. Basically it was a result of a drunken night when we were making fun of our local police officers. Bonus points were awarded to those who had jury trials, appeared in the paper, etc. All I can say is part of my job is defending criminals for a living - and growing a mustache was one of the worst things I ever had to do. Since I can't think of anything else - any plans for another book?
Paul Shirley: Yes, but it will be fiction, and you might not like it.
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Brooklyn, New York: What do you think about your alma mater's soon to be enacted change in logo? I was always sort of partial to the "bird in a blender" myself.
Paul Shirley: I had no idea. I hope they bring back the post-modern tornado.
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Phil, Milw: When does a stache become a molestache?
Paul Shirley: About 12 hours in.
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Victoria Boston, MA: As far as misery and awkward making for great stories - I only found your herpes scare story marginal.
Paul Shirley: Next time, I promise to contract the disease. Or write better.
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Matt, Chicago: Paul, I've spent 9 hours of my day thus far checking espn.com and checking on the status of various student loans that I'll be paying until I retire. I'm at work. If you ever begin to listen to one of these people who seem to suggest you should hang it up, think of me. Think of me Paul, think of me.
Paul Shirley: Noted. Sorry man.
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Ryan (madison, wi): You post a lot of wisconsin people's questions. Do you have an affiliation with our state? I have an impossible exam at 745 am tomorrow that I haven't started studying for, and I'm here chatting with you. I apologize for the other madison d-bag who encouraged you to stop living the dream. Want to come get wasted after my exam tomorrow? 10 a.m. our time has to be like, dinner time for you, right?
Paul Shirley: No affiliation other than an affection for people from Wisconsin. They're always friendly. Kind of like Canadians, only better drinkers. And yes, I'll be there.
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Shanners (Wausau, WI): The best way to follow your career overseas is.....
Paul Shirley: either acb.com or menorcabasquet.com
Paul Shirley: The first is in Spanish, obviously, and the second is probably in Menorquin, not so obviously.
Paul Shirley: Yes, they have their own language on this island.
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Karen (Oregon, WI): Hey, I'm from Wisconsin! You would love the way I drink.
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Colin (Chicago): Paul, are you excited for the new version on "American Gladiators" host by Hulk Hogan that's coming out soon?
Paul Shirley: I've only heard rumblings. (Remember, I'm in Spain.) But now I'm excited.
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Ryan (Lizzle,IL): so are you fluent in spanish by now? if so what is your favorite spanish phrase?
Paul Shirley: Can't post that, obviously. As for my Spanish, it's not nearly as good as it should be. I can't seem to muster the willpower to make a decent effort. The problem is this: I don't even have English mastered; I can't imagine how I could get Spanish figured out anytime soon. At least, not well enough for heavy deployment of sarcasm, anyway.
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chad (lawrence, KS): how do you think the jeff west tigers team will be this year?
Paul Shirley: If they'd get my brother the ball more, they'd be better.
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Luke (St. Paul, MN): ACBtv is great, thanks for alerting stateside basketball fans. It's much more entertaining than most of the internet highlight stuff NBA.com does (although that may have a lot to do with the fact that so many of the ACB clips are clutch jump shots, followed by wild celebrations, rather than an endless stream of dunks made possible by breakdowns in the opposing team's defense...)
Paul Shirley: You are welcome and you are right. These fast-collapsing defenses really cut down on the thunder dunks.
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Haden (memphis): What do you think about Juan Carlos Navarro's success in the NBA? Who else in the Spanish 1st Division could have similar success?
Paul Shirley: Honestly, I was surprised. But that's only because I'm not cut out to be an NBA prognosticator. Tiago Splitter comes to mind as an instant success in the NBA.
Paul Shirley: Which, of course, means that his NBA career is now cursed.
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Lisa: Do you ever feel like you are a little too honest? I mean, you are making the whole hero worship thing that I like to have with professional athletes kind of tough. Just a thought.
Paul Shirley: You make a good point. Additionally, should I ever have kids, records of everything I've ever written will make for some tough conversations.
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Greg (Boston): His name is Tiago Splitter? How could he not succeed in the states?
Paul Shirley: I know, right? Why can't my name be Tiago Splitter?
Paul Shirley: Sorry, took a break to send, via skype, some of my favorite questions elsewhere.
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Davs (Washington, DC): hey Paul, I think you more closely resemble Tom Everett Scott (from "That Thing You Do!" and "Dead Man On Campus") than Matt Leinart... p.s. as always, thanks for supplying us with countless hours of humorous/insightful writing and entertainment...
Paul Shirley: Also from the now-defunct (I think) Saved on TNT. The top choices are: Matt Leinart (when I'm in LA), John Mayer (when my hair is long), TES, and Timothy Hutton (when I look old and like I was in a movie with a 12-year old Natalie Portman).
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val (anaheim): Paul, its been too long. Is it gonna be another 1 year + before your next chat?
Paul Shirley: I'll do my best to avoid it.
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Tyler(Ames, IA): Do you still keep in touch with former ISU teammates like Fizer,Tinsley,Horton,Rancik,etc...?
Paul Shirley: Oddly enough, Martin, his wife, and his son accompanied me around the Guggenheim in Bilbao. He plays for the team there.
Paul Shirley: Oh no, the girl on the other end of the Skype line is going to be in Las Vegas for the New Year. And I'm almost sure she'll be there with her German boyfriend. I think I need an outpouring of support to convince her otherwise...
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citizen (world): So, Bilbao is a "must see." Any other surprisingly interesting Spanish cities?
Paul Shirley: Cordoba, Valencia.
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JB Meccamon (Madison, WI): Complete this sentence: When I see _____ playing in the NBA, I want to ____ a _____ with a _______.
Paul Shirley: I can't answer that here, but I did laugh a lot.
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Derek (Chicago, IL): I grew up in a tiny town in Southwest Iowa, and we'd have open gym during the winter at the elementary school every Sunday, which consisted of high school kids, 40 year old men, and recent graduates who never made it out of town playing pick up games on a 60 by 25 court. Now this was fine, but occasionally during the end of my high school career (say '98-'99) former Cyclone Julius Michalik would show up and play. Why would Julius want to play with a bunch of 5'7" slow, fat, townies? And why did he need to warm up for 45 minutes?
Paul Shirley: Because when he was 21 he was working with the body of a 54-year-old. Great guy though.
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Wheels (Mpls, MN): I am seeing a girl from work who lives with her boyfriend who also works with us. How is this going to end?
Paul Shirley: My hunch is: badly for everyone. But the stories will be great.
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matt (omaha): I think you look like the kid from "Superbad". Is that insulting?
Paul Shirley: Absolutely. But I'll live.
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Justin (Fairbanks (AK)): Dude that was a sweet rejection you had on that stiff from Grenada. How come you're getting everyone to focus on the stache when you have a killer highlight like that?
Paul Shirley: Because nobody (including me) likes a braggart.
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BJ (Missoula,MT): Doesn't that girl know that all German guys are Duetsche bags (I can say this because a german foreign exchange student stole my girlfriend 7 years ago)
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Jake (PA): Is basketball more popular than soccer on your island?
Paul Shirley: Only because there isn't a soccer team here.
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Ryan (Lizzle,IL): who is the best american born player currently playing in the ACB
Paul Shirley: Chris Moss.
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Eric (Kansas City): Correct me if I'm mistaken, but I think I played against you in a fall/winter league in Kansas City a few years ago. Was that you???
Paul Shirley: It's quite possible. It's been a winding road, this career of mine.
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Stewart Griffin (Quahog, RI): I really like the new PARAMORE album. Is it gay for a big manly man to like a band with a chick lead singer?
Paul Shirley: It's okay, I like the New Pornographers. And Tegan and Sara. But that could just be because they're lesbian sisters from Canada.
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chris (sf): dude, it's not cool if you are skypeing (is that a word?) my german friends spanish girlfriend. But if it's someone else, good luck
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Bob (Seattle): For a guy with a bad ankle, you sure moved quickly chasing mustache boy around after the game winning shot. BTW, what did you whisper in his ear beforete the freethrow? Was it what Bill Murray whispered in Scarlett Johansson's ear? Mmmmm... Scarlett Johansson
Paul Shirley: That's all adrenaline and Celebrex. And Juicy Fruit.
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Captain Honesty: Who's the ugliest player you've ever played with or against? Peter John Ramos? Salva Guardia? Or someone that wasn't at the game Sunday. Be honest.
Paul Shirley: Is Ha-Seung Jin eligible?
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Brent (Portland, OR): Having drafting the rights to Rudy Fernandez, and him being from Spain...what is there you can tell us Blazer fans about him?
Paul Shirley: (Watch out everyone, it seems we have a Blazers GM in the chat.) He's...really good. And a good dude, as well.
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SonnyD (Vancouver, CA): Mr.Shirely first thank you for the compliment about Canadians being nice. We are. But not being able to handle the booze, I'll challenge anyone from WI. We have real beer up here, 5% not 3%. I haven't read your book yet but I will go buy it if you can inspire me in three words or less.
Paul Shirley: Not a hobbit.
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Jack, Detroit: Yeah, you're making hundreds of thousands of dollars, but do you realize you'd have to play like 40-50 more years (they have AARP leagues in eurore, right?) to make what Brian Scalabrine is going to in the next five? sorry, just thought you'd like to know.
Paul Shirley: Yeah, well, I have better hair.
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Ryan (Lizzle,IL): does the island of menorca have any topless beaches for you to hang out at?
Paul Shirley: Not in December.
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Deets (Eau Claire, WI): Where does Bad Religion rank among your favorite bands of all-time?
Paul Shirley: Is number 1,287 an acceptable answer?
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Austin (San Francisco): Who's the more compelling writer, to your mind, Simmons, Gladwell or Klosterman? (Or maybe Seuss?)
Paul Shirley: Klosterman. Then again, what am I going to say? The man took time away to write the foreword for my book after I sent him an email that said, "Would you write the foreword for my book?" He'll always be my favorite, if only because of that.
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Steve (Chicago): Were the lacerated kidney and ruptured spleen the highlight of your stint with the Bulls?
Paul Shirley: No, but the Dilaudid that followed was.
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Joe (Chicago): Lots of stories about the Suns slipping this year due to chemistry issues -- I'm guessing its not G.Hill's fault. Care to speculate?
Paul Shirley: I'm pretty sure they're lacking something, and that something has the following initials: PMS.
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Alberto Seattle,WA: would you have an orangatang as a pet?
Paul Shirley: Does the pope poop in the woods?
Paul Shirley: It's nearing midnight in Menorca, and I need to stop staring at a computer screen. As always, thanks for passing through and sending a question. Or thanks for idly sitting by and not sending a question. Feel free to comment on the Albums of 2007 list with choices of your own. I'll be watching. And as always, I can be found at myspace.com/paulshirley. Thanks.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Who Wants Amare
Submit your bids today. It's like an ebay auction, the best offer wins, and Amare will be moved today.
Friday, November 9, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
trans limit
Max Moves
30 = freak, blue
40 = spiff, deke, keef
> 30 but < 60 = tem
no limit = zeke, tyler, EP
*tranasction = add/drop, trade, etc.
a good point that Tyler brought up is that last season's champ, spiffg, won with 41 moves.
Adding FGM & FTM
Yes = Deke
No = Zeke, EP, spiffg, keef
30 = freak, blue
40 = spiff, deke, keef
> 30 but < 60 = tem
no limit = zeke, tyler, EP
*tranasction = add/drop, trade, etc.
a good point that Tyler brought up is that last season's champ, spiffg, won with 41 moves.
Adding FGM & FTM
Yes = Deke
No = Zeke, EP, spiffg, keef
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
It's time for a new Post
Even though i'm a few days late, I just wanted to gloat about beating the fuck out of Corbin's team in the FMLB semi-finals. Of course that means that CCC will probably destroy BIS this week in the finals, but I accomplished my goal, to not let either of the weazy twins win the championship. And with that, I give you my tribute to the weazy twins. For those of you who have been wondering where they've been...they're in space.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
It's the playoffs
For those of you that don't know, or don't give a shit about the fmlb league...well then, football season starts this week. Just skip on out and go make all your suicide and pick'em choices.
But for those of you who might care a little bit about fmlb, this miller chill is for you. The playoffs and consolation brackets started this week. What's that you say? You didn't realize there was a consolation bracket? Me neither. But since the real teams and their managers are in the conso bracket, i'm going to break it down here today.
the matchups this week are Spiffg's Captain Stupendous team, and WC's I love Lamp team. WC is attempting to win the conso bracket without ever changing his team all season...quite a feat. The other matchup is H's Fenway Faithful against Hick Hop anonymous's Sweet Lou's hickhops. Oh how the mighty have fallen as Hick's team was once a top rated team. Now he didn't even get the all important consolation bracket bye. Luckily for him, he did get home computer advantage...so he's got that going for him.
AD Afro managed by Super Deluxe (the person, not the cheeseburger) and And the band played on managed by Meiz, both have byes this week and are in prime position to run the consolation bracket table. Unfortunately they are both Brewers fans, and there is no consolation bracket in the real world.
That's all for this week. And for those of you that didn't know, this week's post has been brought to you by the letter (S).
Thank God football season is here!
But for those of you who might care a little bit about fmlb, this miller chill is for you. The playoffs and consolation brackets started this week. What's that you say? You didn't realize there was a consolation bracket? Me neither. But since the real teams and their managers are in the conso bracket, i'm going to break it down here today.
the matchups this week are Spiffg's Captain Stupendous team, and WC's I love Lamp team. WC is attempting to win the conso bracket without ever changing his team all season...quite a feat. The other matchup is H's Fenway Faithful against Hick Hop anonymous's Sweet Lou's hickhops. Oh how the mighty have fallen as Hick's team was once a top rated team. Now he didn't even get the all important consolation bracket bye. Luckily for him, he did get home computer advantage...so he's got that going for him.
AD Afro managed by Super Deluxe (the person, not the cheeseburger) and And the band played on managed by Meiz, both have byes this week and are in prime position to run the consolation bracket table. Unfortunately they are both Brewers fans, and there is no consolation bracket in the real world.
That's all for this week. And for those of you that didn't know, this week's post has been brought to you by the letter (S).
Thank God football season is here!
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Waiver Pickup
Meagan Good
Caught my attention Week 1 when I watched 'Stomp The Yard'. 17 carries, 86 yards, 1 TD and 4 receptions, 22 yards.
Flagged her on the watch list and peeped 'Waist Deep' in Week 2. Impressive performance. 26 carries, 147 yards, 2 TDs, and 2 receptions, 42 yards, 1 TD.
BOOTY
Related Transaction:
Put on IR - Mandy Moore(out with a body)
WWTDD
Caught my attention Week 1 when I watched 'Stomp The Yard'. 17 carries, 86 yards, 1 TD and 4 receptions, 22 yards.
Flagged her on the watch list and peeped 'Waist Deep' in Week 2. Impressive performance. 26 carries, 147 yards, 2 TDs, and 2 receptions, 42 yards, 1 TD.
BOOTY
Related Transaction:
Put on IR - Mandy Moore(out with a body)
WWTDD
Monday, August 27, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
All things Draft
Alright once keef signs up our league will be complete (and weasel free!)
All settings are final and will not be changed.
Draft : This Sunday
Time : 2:30 PM PST
Draft Order:
1 Cleaveland Steamers
2 Tyson Baby
3 RapeStandVicim
4 Dung Beetles
5 Fuck You All
6 WeaselHungLikeaPanda
7 Zorse Force
8 Gooney Googoo
9 Barry Badrinath
10 Super Bowl Champions
11 Keef
12 iamnotiamiamdrunkkod
13 Dan The Man
14 champ-yun
15 The Lurker
16 ToddPacker
17 Tank Johnson\'s guns
18 hoosier hitler?
results emailed to those with email addys
All settings are final and will not be changed.
Draft : This Sunday
Time : 2:30 PM PST
Draft Order:
1 Cleaveland Steamers
2 Tyson Baby
3 RapeStandVicim
4 Dung Beetles
5 Fuck You All
6 WeaselHungLikeaPanda
7 Zorse Force
8 Gooney Googoo
9 Barry Badrinath
10 Super Bowl Champions
11 Keef
12 iamnotiamiamdrunkkod
13 Dan The Man
14 champ-yun
15 The Lurker
16 ToddPacker
17 Tank Johnson\'s guns
18 hoosier hitler?
results emailed to those with email addys
Monday, August 13, 2007
Footyball Questions
Gentlemens: Our LOV II league draft will take place this Sunday (12:30 PST to be exact).
We need to quickly iron out some potential rule changes.
1) Veto - league votes or commish decides? Keep in mind the bazeoball league when voting.
2) Starting positions: Currently, we're starting :
QB
WR
WR
WR
RB
RB
TE
Flex (wr or rb)
K
Def
(6 Bench spots)
With 18 teams it may be beneficial to reduce the starting requirements. Voice your concerns in the comments. I may also look at changing some of the stat categories to take into account position scarcity,etc.
Let's get on this quickly.
We need to quickly iron out some potential rule changes.
1) Veto - league votes or commish decides? Keep in mind the bazeoball league when voting.
2) Starting positions: Currently, we're starting :
QB
WR
WR
WR
RB
RB
TE
Flex (wr or rb)
K
Def
(6 Bench spots)
With 18 teams it may be beneficial to reduce the starting requirements. Voice your concerns in the comments. I may also look at changing some of the stat categories to take into account position scarcity,etc.
Let's get on this quickly.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Just because I can
Comparison time:
Here is a trade scenario:
Team A is giving up a player whose stats now are:
.327 AVG, .856 OPS, 73 Runs, 8 HR, 52 RBIs, and 12 SB
Team B is giving up two players:
.325 AVG, .968 OPS, 52 Runs, 16 HR, 52 RBIs, and 13 SB
1 W, 3 SV, 40 K, 11 Holds, 2.39 ERA, and 1.29 WHIP
So who is getting the better end of this deal? Should it be vetoed?
Also let it be known that the position player that team B is giving up missed a month of action with injury, so his or her, RBI/Runs/HR totals are probably a little lower than they could be.
Check the comments to find out who these players are.
Here is a trade scenario:
Team A is giving up a player whose stats now are:
.327 AVG, .856 OPS, 73 Runs, 8 HR, 52 RBIs, and 12 SB
Team B is giving up two players:
.325 AVG, .968 OPS, 52 Runs, 16 HR, 52 RBIs, and 13 SB
1 W, 3 SV, 40 K, 11 Holds, 2.39 ERA, and 1.29 WHIP
So who is getting the better end of this deal? Should it be vetoed?
Also let it be known that the position player that team B is giving up missed a month of action with injury, so his or her, RBI/Runs/HR totals are probably a little lower than they could be.
Check the comments to find out who these players are.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Come Join the Pick'em leagues
I've set up a couple of "pick 'em" leagues on yahoo, for those who are interested
NFL league, games picked with point spread, makes it a little more fun..go here and the league ID is2337 2377 and the password is pathword.
and if corbin or weazy try and offer me a trade for my picks...well, they'll get clubbed.
I also created a college level pick 'em league
college doesn't have point spreads, but does have "confidence points" to mix things up a little bit. to sign up go here and the id is 1513 and the password is teejer.
and with that, I say to hell with all of you.
NFL league, games picked with point spread, makes it a little more fun..go here and the league ID is
and if corbin or weazy try and offer me a trade for my picks...well, they'll get clubbed.
I also created a college level pick 'em league
college doesn't have point spreads, but does have "confidence points" to mix things up a little bit. to sign up go here and the id is 1513 and the password is teejer.
and with that, I say to hell with all of you.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Time To Shake Things Up
I'm honestly looking to get things moving. Anybody want to trade me Teddy Higuera?
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Another New Post
I'm not gonna let another blue picture destroy a blog.
Sorry, sir.
(fantasy talk here)
Sorry, sir.
(fantasy talk here)
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Saturday, July 7, 2007
New Post
It's the All-Star break. This means people are deciding if they are contenders or pretenders. Will a cellar dweller sacrifice their lineup so some other team can beat the weasel twins?
Many questions loom large.
Dun nun nun.
Many questions loom large.
Dun nun nun.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Power Rankings - Week 10
Movers:
Yahoo
Gain of the week: A tie between Super Deluxe, moving up 4 spots from 14th to 10th after cruising by Bruce Almighty by the score of 11 – 1, and Baseball is stoopid, who move up from 6th to 2nd, after a 10 - 2 plundering of Captain Stupendous.
Loser of the week: Save me Santana loses 5 spots falling from 2nd to 7th after suffering a 3 – 9 smoking at the hands of Best.Team.Ever.
Power Rankings
Gain of the week: Chony Choni Chone easily gets by Sweet Lou’s Hick-Hop, by the score of 8 – 4. Moving up 4 spots from 6th to 2nd. CCC also swept all offensive categories, a league first.
Loser of the week: Fenway Faithful loses 3 positions, falling from 9th to 12th after losing to Brew Crew Lite by the score of 5 – 7.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Power Rankings - Week 9
Movers:
Yahoo
Gain of the week:A tie between Captain Stupendous, moving up 3 spots from 13th to 10th after demolishing Bagels and Kakes by the score of 10 – 1, and El Pad's Scallywags, who move up from 16th to 13th, after a 7 - 1 thrashing of Fenway Faithful.
Loser of the week: I Love Lamp loses 4 spots falling from 12th to 16th after suffering a 2 – 9 beatdown at the hands of Best.Team.Ever.
Power Rankings
Gain of the week: The smackdown of I Love Lamp moves Best.Team.Ever up 2 spots from 4th to 2nd.
Loser of the week: A three way tie between Sweet Lou’s Hick-Hop, Baseball is stoopid and Save me santana. Each lose 1 spot, SLHH moves from 2nd to 3rd after losing to Balderdash 3-8, BIS moves from 9th to 10th after falling to The Dorothy Mantoothz by the score of 4-7, and SMS drops from 3rd to 4th after tying Mills Loves MooseCock at 5’s.
Friday, June 1, 2007
Power Rankings - Week 8
I’ve gone back and corrected the previous weeks - the Power Rankings are up-to-date.
Movers:
Yahoo
Gain of the week: Todd Packer, moving up 4 spots from 14th to 10th after soundly defeating El Pad’s Scallywags by the score of 8 – 4.
Loser of the week: Captain Stupendous loses 3 spots falling from 10th to 13th after suffering a 2 – 9 beatdown at the hands of Save me Santana.
Power Rankings
Gain of the week: The smackdown of Captain Stupdendous moves Save me Santana up 3 spots from 6th to 3rd.
Loser of the week: A three way tie between Brew Crew Lite, Baseball is stoopid and Mike Vick’s Pitbull. Each lose 2 spots, BCL moves from 3rd to 5th after tying Team Brian Peppers 5-5. BIS moves from 7th to 9th after falling to Fenway Faithful by the score of 5-7. MVP (ha) soundly beats floor sucking Bruce Almighty by the score of 7 -2 but falls none-the-less.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Power Rankings - Week 7
about those Power Rankings....
First, I was extra unmotivated to get them done earlier.
Secondly, I realized that I have been calculating them wrong. It's not a huge mistake but a mistake none-the-less. I wasn't factoring in ties. I have done so for week 7 and will have to re-do the previous 6 weeks.
Yahoo Rankings
Biggest Gain : Best.Team.Ever, moving up 2 spots from 8th to 6th, after an 8-3 victory over Superdeluxe.
Biggest Loser : Brew Crew Lite, dropping 3 spots from 6th to 9th, after a 5-7 loss to slowly rising El Pad's Scallywags.
Surprise of the week : bottom feeding ToddPacker defeating Baseball is stoopid by the score of 7-4.
First, I was extra unmotivated to get them done earlier.
Secondly, I realized that I have been calculating them wrong. It's not a huge mistake but a mistake none-the-less. I wasn't factoring in ties. I have done so for week 7 and will have to re-do the previous 6 weeks.
Yahoo Rankings
Biggest Gain : Best.Team.Ever, moving up 2 spots from 8th to 6th, after an 8-3 victory over Superdeluxe.
Biggest Loser : Brew Crew Lite, dropping 3 spots from 6th to 9th, after a 5-7 loss to slowly rising El Pad's Scallywags.
Surprise of the week : bottom feeding ToddPacker defeating Baseball is stoopid by the score of 7-4.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Power Rankings - Week 6
Week 6 Power Ranking Recap
Y! Rankings :
Biggest Mover : a tie between Weazy's Best.Team.Ever and Tem's Mills Luvs MooseCock. BTE moves up 2 spots after surviving cellar dwellar Bruce Almighty by the score of 6-5. MLM likewise moves up 2 spots with a sound 9-2 beat down of SuperDeluxe. BTE moves up to 8th and MLM moves up to 4th.
Biggest Loser : Superdeluxe loses 3 spots, falling from 7th to 10th.
Power Rankings :
Biggest Mover : Blue's Baseball is stoopid had a nice week, easily beating Deke's Brew Crew Lite by the score of 8-3. BIS moves up 5 spots to 7th in the Power Rankings.
Biggest Loser : SuperDeluxe claims this spot as well, falling 5 spots to 10th.
Coming Soon : I'm going to put together some sort of strength of schedule stat.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Let the Trading Frenzy Continue
ElP wanted a new thread so we didn't have to scroll down 250 comments to get to new stuff.
Here is it.
Here is it.
Monday, May 7, 2007
Power Rankings - Week 5
Week 5 Power Ranking Recap
Y! Rankings :
Biggest Mover : Weazy's "Best.Team.Ever" moves up 5 spots from 15th to 10th after smoking Zeke's "Cho's Warriors" 9 - 2.
Biggest Loser : Not surprisingly, "Cho's Warriors" falls from 5th to 9th after getting embarrassed. Losing 2-9 = Not good.
Power Rankings :
Biggest Mover : Best.Team.Ever moves up 5 spots from 11th to 6th.
Biggest Loser : Tem's "Mills Luvs MooseCock" drops 5 spots from 4th to 9th after barely getting by cellar dwellar "Bruce Almighty" by the score of 6-5.
Rev's bottom feeding "Bagels and Kakes" had a surprisingly strong showing this week.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Power Rankings - Week 4
It’s time for Week 4’s Power Rankings
Last week’s match-ups saw huge wins by I Love Lamp, Captain Stupdendous and John Hancock’s Seatbelt.
In the Battle for the Basement, El Pad’s Scallywags narrowly defeated Bagel’s and Kakes by the odd score of 4-2.
Y! Rankings :
Biggest Mover : John Hancock’s Seatbelt (aka The Lone Rangers!), moving up 7 places from 10th to 3rd after his total annihilation of Weazy’s “Best.Team.Ever”
Biggest Loser : Not surprising, Weazy’s “Best.Team.Ever”, falls 6 spots from 9th to 15th. Losing by a score of 1 to 10 will do that to you.
Power Rankings :
Biggest Mover : Brew Crew Lite, moving up 5 spots from 9th to a tie for 4th.
Biggest Loser : Iñigo Montoyaz, losing 3 spots, falling from 6th to 9th
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Discussion Starters
Better SP keeper prospect: Dice-K or Matt Cain or...Liriano? Originally I had Peavy in here, but he is too proven.
Why does Brian McCann go 4 rounds after Joe Mauer (it seems), when he produces the same statistics, if not better.
Ray Durham - 23 hrs and 93 rbis last year? WTF? Why does he get no love for being old, but Jeff Kent does?
K -- Done.
Why does Brian McCann go 4 rounds after Joe Mauer (it seems), when he produces the same statistics, if not better.
Ray Durham - 23 hrs and 93 rbis last year? WTF? Why does he get no love for being old, but Jeff Kent does?
K -- Done.
Friday, March 23, 2007
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